Friday, January 20, 2012

Parenting

Some days this parenting thing makes me feel like a complete failure. I know i haven't even gotten to the really hard part (through the teen years) yet but the past few months have been a bit (that is putting it mildly) frustrating for me and i feel like i have failed more than succeeded at being the kind of parent that i want to be.

We have a big problem in our family with fighting with siblings. Some days i feel like all i do is yell at the kids to stop fighting. I feel like i am prying a cat and dog apart quite often. I do try to stay calm but being honest, i yell at my children sometimes...er more often than i should. I didn't want to be a yelling mom...i still don't want to be a yelling mom but goodness gracious i'm ashamed to say mine have driven me to it.

We are trying some new consequences for talking unkindly to their siblings and the verdict is still out on how that is going to work. I feel like i'm bashing my kids and that is not my intent...i am more bashing myself for not being a better parent to keep the sibling fighting under control.

Don't get me wrong there are days when they get along great, days when i see them showing a lot of love to one another but right now the other days overshadow the good days.

I never pray for patience, i am terrified of doing that. But i will be focusing this month on praying that i can handle situations that arise with the kids calmly and lovingly....i am often far from calm and just plain angry that they won't behave the way i want them to.

If you think about it you can pray with me that God will calm my spirit when things escalate between the kids and that i can be the kind of mother that HE wants me to be.

How is that for a bright cheery post...ha :)

We did enjoy a day at the park on Monday. The kids were out of school and it was 65 degrees mid January, can't beat that! AND, they actually got along for a good portion of the day...

they do love each other, they really do...i just have to remind them that they do...

my pre-teen who hijacks my phone....and begs for a phone because all almost all of her friends have them. Just not happening!!

Even while writing this post i have been reminded that i just need to get on my knees, i haven't been spending enough time there!


6 comments:

Barbie said...

I will pray for you, Elisa. I know that you sincerely love your children and desire that they do right. They are a gift from God, and HE will give you wisdom in disciplining them. Hang in there!

Love & Prayers,
Barbie

June Duehring said...

Praying for you, Elisa.

Val said...

Shoot, I have to pray for patience and wisdom multiple times a day, so I'll throw in your name as well! :) Hang in there!

grammaneir said...

Praying for you both that God will give much wisdom and that you will be sensitive to what He tells you.
It is not an easy job but God will help you.

Elisa Seaba said...

Thank you all for your prayers!

Michelle said...

You mean the fighting only gets worse???? :)
I only have two that fight right now (Norah's too young still...) But, just like you, there are times they get along great, and I just wonder why they can't do that all the time!
Then I remember how much I fought with my three brothers growing up, and realize that it probably really is normal.
I'm right with you on trying to keep my cool, too. I think the loudness of the mom's voice rises in proportion to the number of kids. Mine has gotten much louder in the past year (read: i have yelled more in the past year) than I ever have before. And you have four, so I imagine it's even a little crazier.
Hang in there.
And thanks for the reminder that I should be praying daily for patience too!